Elevation Burger - Provisional Blackball (last reviewed Apr 26, 2009)

Elevation Burger has a few things going for it -- intriguing name, outdoor seating in Harbor East, a well organized menu and a rectangular cake pan for a tray (say what?). All of these good things, for the 4 loyal followers (props to Fabian for making it #4) are known to be irrelevant. I'll tell you what is relevant. Let's begin with the basics -- their "organic" burgers are too much like a Big Mac and lacked any taste. It was as if I was chewing a piece of beefy melba toast. To attempt to add flaver, we were discussing what the "Elevation sauce" could possibly be and we speculated that it was Thousand Island dressing which was later confirmed by the cashier. How lame! A worst deal in Baltimore -- adding a spindly order of shoe string (not manly steak cut) fries -- for a buck two fifty felt like I'd been robbed and I will not soon forget that jonesing. Unlike their blackballed cousin, 5 Guys (aka 3 Things), they fry their stamped out hamburger patties and fries in Olive Oil. They do have a big list of toppings, including carmelized onions, milkshakes and those funky trays which gets them barely off blackball. The frosty sensation, which I did not try, may be their only salvation but I did not partake. I'll let you know how that works out. -DB

Lebanese Taverna - so so (Apr 16, 2009)

Another prediction from Nostra-dorkus. This place will not be in business one year from now. Why? It's too nichey, not that good and in a really expensive location. The level of lunch time traffic, a key indicator, would lead you to believe nearby wharf rats had shown up on inspection day. Their menu was very mediterranean and not so much Lebanese. What is Lebanese food anyway? Khafta, schwarma ... hey this is the same menu from the Egyptian place. The appetizer bread was good, the chicken schwarma also good but ... not going to make the recommendation list with just good.

Schnapper's Hots (Sanibel, FL) - Excellent (Apr 6, 2009)

Once again, the "island effect" could be controlling my mind here because I actually ordered a hotdog (right, not a typo), fries and a milkshake. Uggh. The hotdog, or /hot-dug/ as we like to say in B'more, was actually a request from my kids but I had a chomp of that dug just the same. I have to give it to Mr. Schnapps for his marketing acumen. Clever that he has capitalized on the island effect by placing little scraps of paper for people to post their accolades on the walls alongside authographed photos of the likes of Chris Berman snarfing down a dug (imagine that). Not to overstate things, but this marketing ploy seems to have created a bit of cult following with people claiming to have come for each one of their last yy years and came all the way from Scotland and other fictitious places. He boasts awards for best take-out from a hokey organization in Sanibel. He does, however, make a tasty, bun extending dog, excellent fries and a deadly milkshake. So here's where I will actually solicit a little input (a second sacred cow slain in the same review!) on tipping. I don't think tipping is appropriate if I walk into the restaurant, place the order, pay, wait around for the food, and then eat standing up. Anyway, the dude taking my order was non-plussed by his no-tip on my first of two orders. To test my read on his nonchalant attitude, I sprung him about 30 cents or so from the change of the hotdug, and he perked up a bit with the slightest acknowldgement that I had rang his tip jar. Spanker, you work at a hotdog stand and you are over 40; you are not allowed to have an attitude. And get some stools; 2 of my kids sat underneath a table in the windowsills reaking havoc while the the 3rd tried to poke a hole in the glass to get their attention.

Island Cow (Sanibel, FL) - Excellent (Apr 7, 2009)

So it could be that being on Spring Break on a tropical island has some degree of influence on how well a restaurant rates. In any case, the Island Cow in Sanibel, FL has a funky tropical/southern menu, prompt service (once you get past the initial long wait ... a good sign), and excellent food. I had fried oysters in horseradish sauce and an icy cold beer. They were served fresh in the shell with all kinds of dipping sauces. The price was very reasonable for Sanibel ($13ish) and the portions were manly (16 oysters). I snuck a few bites of cheesy grits which were also really tasty. I also got up close and personal with the trash area (a key criteria for those newbies) as we waited and played a few, frustrating games of the island ring toss game. A few comments for management who will undoubtedly be reading this blog the second I press publish. The waitress was insanely fast which prompted me to begin ordering things one at a time just for fun. Lighten up sister. Very annoying was a bent tine on the oyster fork which left my mouth confused with each bite. On second thought, I kind of liked it.